We'll Go On
by Jaylie12
Summary: "What if I don't like being me?" Despite some holiday fun, Blaine's distracted. Kurt, the Warblers, and the rest of the Hudmel clan try to help. Pre-Klaine.  Occurs during AVGC.  Follows my other fics Escaping Fear and A Place to Run To.
1. Chapter 1

Title: We'll Go On

Summary: "What if I don't like being me?" Despite some holiday fun, Blaine's distracted. Kurt, the Warblers, and the rest of the Hudmel clan try to help. Follows my other fics _Escaping __Fear_ and _A__ Place__ to __Run__ To_. Occurs during _AVGC_, though not really missing scenes/post-ep as we only got a bit of Klaine in that ep.

Rating: T, just in case.  
>Category: Glee, pre-Klaine and the Hudmel clan, with guest appearances by several others.<br>Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee. Title comes from the song _I__ Got __You_ by Leona Lewis, which has become the anthem for this series.

A/N: I really tried to make this all light and fluffy because it's the holidays in the timeline, but no, my muse is permanently stuck in angst gear. There is a bit of fun here and there.

And as one of my reviewer's noted, the last story got a bit depressing on the Blaine-side, but not to fear. There's more angst for him here, but it'll "all get better in time." And yes, I did just quote another Leona Lewis song. :-)

This just keeps growing and growing, and is veering into A/U territory. But I promise this series of fics follows the canon timeline and will get around to when Blaine and Kurt are actually together. And they will eventually fit in with my fics based off of _Prom__Queen_.

...

_Ain't falling apart, or bitter  
>Let's be bigger than that and remember...<br>We'll go on surviving...  
>Just wanna say<br>I got you_

...

Blaine sat, staring blankly at the papers in front of him, aimlessly thumbing the edge of his textbook.

"Blaine?" Nick asked, entering their room with several of the other Warblers. When the boy did not respond, Nick leaned close. "Blaine!"

"What?" Blaine shouted, startled, slipping to the edge of his chair. He looked around, eyes wide, to see the other boys snickering. His gaze rested on Nick, and he shot his roommate a glare.

"You were daydreaming again," Nick said nonchalantly, shrugging.

"Has he been doing that a lot?" David asked, plopping himself onto Blaine's bed.

"Every day this week," Nick supplied.

"That's odd, isn't it?" Trent queried, joining David on the bed.

"Only when he gets a dopey smile on his face," Nick teased with a smirk.

"When does that happen?" David questioned.

"All the time," Nick said dramatically, rolling his eyes.

"Guys, I'm right here," Blaine interjected, glaring at them all in turn.

"So?" David taunted. Blaine turned his full attention to the boy, trying his best to look stern. David merely laughed and Blaine huffed, annoyed. The room fell silent.

"So, what's got you so preoccupied?" Wes asked gently, having stepped into the room and giving the other boys a look.

"Nothing," Blaine answered quickly.

"Really?" Wes prodded, disbelief written on his expression. Blaine looked at him, shook his head minutely, and diverted his attention.

"I've noticed he doesn't seem to space out as much when he's around Kurt," Nick offered, which earned him another stern look from Blaine. David stifled another chuckle.

"Everything's okay, right? Kurt's okay?" Trent asked, concerned.

"He's fine," Blaine answered, smiling gratefully at the other boy. Trent sighed his relief.

"He seems happy in practice," Wes observed. "And he's killing me in French." Blaine smiled at that, remembering Kurt excitedly practicing French during their study session yesterday-the way his hands moved when he spoke, and how the foreign words flowed smoothly and effortlessly from the other boy, sounding like music.

"And there he goes again," Nick said, gesturing at Blaine's goofy expression. His hand on the boy's shoulder startled Blaine out of his momentary reverie.

"I think he's in love," David sing-songed cheerily. Blaine ducked his head.

"Oh my God, ask him out already," Nick declared loudly. Blaine blushed, shaking his head, still at a loss for words.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Wes broke in, much to Blaine's relief. David and Nick managed to stifle their mirth, catching on to Blaine's distress.

"We were just going down to dinner," Trent added. "Come on." The boys shuffled out of the room, Blaine shutting the door behind them.

"You sure Kurt's okay?" Wes asked quietly, staying a few steps behind the other boys. Blaine nodded quickly. "And you?" Blaine turned his head, looking intently at the older boy.

"I'm just glad he's happy," he revealed, his smile growing wider. "He's amazing."

"You really should ask him out," Wes advised gently, though they had already discussed this.

Blaine shook his head. "Not yet. I'm-," Blaine broke off, looking away. Wes halted their steps with a hand on Blaine's arm. The other boys continued on, oblivious.

"You know, you're pretty amazing too," Wes said, offering an encouraging smile. Blaine looked at him doubtfully and Wes sighed. The younger boy had changed a lot since he first came to Dalton-had become comfortable around everyone and popular, had relished performing, and took both praise and teasing with grace-but it was all a cover. Wes had hoped it would eventually become more akin to a second skin, that the comfort, safety, and praise would bleed into Blaine's actual being. However, that did not seem to be the case, and Wes had noticed that the shell Blaine had encased himself in had begun cracking ever since Kurt came into his life. Wes was not sure if it was a good or bad thing.

The older boy wrapped an arm around Blaine's shoulders, smiling cheerfully. Either way, he wanted to let Blaine know they were all here for him. When Blaine looked at him quizzically, Wes laughed and pulled him down the corridor.

"Come on, otherwise there won't be anything left for us."

...

"Does it feel like a cage to you?"

Blaine blinked, looking up and focusing on the boy sitting on the other side of the bed. "What?"

"Dalton," Kurt elaborated, eyes curious. "Does it feel like a cage to you?" Blaine set his book on his lap, taking a deep breath before answering.

"Sometimes, but in a good way."

"How?"

"It keeps me safe," Blaine revealed. "I don't have to worry so much when I'm here." Kurt nodded, accepting the vague answer, but his eyes held onto his curiosity and Blaine struggled to speak.

No words came, and Blaine stared at his textbook. He tensed at the images that assaulted his memory, at the feelings that weaved their way back into his brain. Kurt shuffled his notes, setting them aside, and scooted closer to Blaine so they were both leaning against the wall. Blaine only spared him a momentary glance. Kurt reached for Blaine's hand. Blaine focused his attention on the way Kurt's fingers slid between his, the way the contact comforted him. It was new, having someone he could touch and not worry what the other person might think, and he found himself craving it, especially with Kurt.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly. Blaine's gaze darted back to Kurt.

"For what?"

"For asking," Kurt replied, looking apologetically at the other boy. "I didn't mean to make you sad."

Blaine shook his head, asserting, "You didn't." Kurt was not convinced. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"I-," Blaine started, but again fell silent. He closed his eyes against the images, taking slow deep breaths to keep from panicking. He forced the images and feelings away, anger fueling his determination. He thought he had dealt with his past, but he'd had a hard time lately, keeping his mind from wandering back. And he had found himself alternately daydreaming about Kurt. He thought it must be his subconscious' way of distracting himself from the unpleasant memories. Shaking his head a bit, he opened his eyes, only to realize that he had clutched Kurt's fingers tightly with his own and that Kurt was running his other hand over his arm. He loosened his fingers in an attempt to remove his hand, but Kurt did not let him go.

"Sorry," Blaine mumbled, not daring to look up.

"You've been quiet lately. You okay?" Kurt asked kindly, his hand still moving up and down Blaine's arm. Blaine found it immeasurably comforting, but stayed silent. "You know you can tell me anything, right? You practically know everything about me. And you've seen me at my worst."

"I know," Blaine managed, his voice rough.

"But knowing isn't always enough, is it?" Blaine looked at Kurt finally, looked at his understanding expression and his bright eyes. Kurt lifted his hand from Blaine's arm and tentatively ran his fingers along the other boy's temple. "Just don't let it control you, the fear or sadness or whatever's going on in there," Kurt said gently. Blaine's eyes stung, tears clouding his vision. The care and tenderness he felt when Kurt's fingers ghosted across his skin left Blaine overwhelmed. He blinked and let out a sigh, breaking the intimate moment. He twisted a bit and laid his head on Kurt's shoulder, wanting the closeness but needing to hide his tears. Kurt squeezed his hand when Blaine took a shaky breath.

"I won't," he whispered.

"Good. I just found you. And I'm not letting anyone or anything take you away."

...

"Congratulations on getting to Regionals, by the way. The Warblers are good," Will said, turning his now empty coffee cup in his hands.

"You too," Kurt replied cautiously, sensing his old teacher's hesitance. "Has Rachel gotten over the fact that she didn't get a solo?" he inquired, trying to inject some humor into their conversation. Will chuckled, shaking his head.

They sat in silence for a moment, Kurt sipping at the remainder of his coffee. Will glanced around the empty dining hall again, still taking in the ornate room and school that Kurt now attended.

"You sure you don't want to come teach here?" Kurt said with a smirk. Will laughed again, settling his attention back on the teenager sitting across from him.

"You've grown a lot." Will paused, assessing his former student. "You've always been mature for your age, but I don't feel like I'm talking to a student anymore."

"Thanks," Kurt replied uncertainly, the word coming out more a question than anything. Will looked at the boy intently.

"I'm not sure it's a good thing either," the man said wryly. "The reasons why sure weren't."

"I've gone through some things," Kurt said vaguely, his expression no longer mirthful.

"Most of which, someone your age should never have to experience," Will added ruefully.

"Probably not," Kurt agreed somberly. Will was surprised the young man's expression held no pain or bitterness.

"You look good, Kurt. Happy," Will commented.

"I am," the young man confirmed after a beat, offering a genuine smile. Silence again fell on the pair as Will again watched Kurt comfortably sipping at his drink. The teacher gripped his cup and cleared his throat.

"I should get going." Will stood, and Kurt following easily, slipping his school bag onto his shoulder.

"I'll walk you out," Kurt offered. Will nodded his thanks and the two headed out of the room and down the hall toward the main entrance. Will turned as they approached the front doors and pulled Kurt into a hug. The young man took a moment to respond, but Will sighed when he felt arms wrap around him in return. Will pulled away soon after.

"I'm glad you're okay," Will said seriously. Kurt's surprised expression turned grateful, his eyes shimmering. "Thanks for the gift advice. Happy Holidays."

Will opened the door and jogged down the steps. When he looked back, Kurt waved and offered a wide smile, which caused him to smile just as widely in return. Taking a deep breath and feeling a sudden sense of relief, the teacher turned back toward the parking lot.

...

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, standing in the doorway. Blaine looked up, smiling brightly.

"Kurt, really, the door's open. You don't have to ask." Blaine stood, smile still in place, and Kurt couldn't help smiling in return. Kurt stepped into the room and, dropping his bag on the floor, sat on the edge of Blaine's bed. The other boy joined him, their shoulders bumping.

"Where's Nick?"

"Probably off plotting new ways to hide my hair gel," Blaine joked. Kurt smirked.

"Maybe I should go help."

"Hey!" Blaine exclaimed indignantly, though his smile contradicted his tone. Kurt chuckled, amused by the other boy's happy mood. Blaine laughed quietly, self-consciously running a hand over his hair. "What?" Blaine asked when he looked back up to find Kurt staring at him with a pleased expression.

"You're in a good mood," Kurt said honestly. Blaine tilted his head, his expression indiscernible. "Things are better?" Kurt inquired gently, hoping Blaine's renewed enthusiasm remained. Blaine nodded, though his smile felt a bit forced. He forced his more maudlin thoughts of late out of his mind.

"I'm excited about the duet," Blaine said, hoping Kurt would not realize he had ignored the other boy's question. He grabbed the sheet music that lay on the floor and flipped through the pages absently.

"Can I come watch you perform?" Kurt's shy question drew Blaine's attention back to the other boy. Blaine swallowed, his newfound happiness morphing into nervousness.

"You want to come?" Blaine asked incredulously.

"Of course," Kurt answered nonchalantly, though he sensed Blaine's sudden uncertainty. "Why wouldn't I?" he inquired quizzically. When Blaine did not answer, he continued, "When is it?"

"Next Thursday," Blaine replied after a beat. "The concert starts at 7, but there are activities all day."

"I bet I can get Finn to come. And Mercedes." Kurt said, his own excitement building. His smile faltered though, when he looked at Blaine's worried expression. "What's wrong? Do you not want me to come?"

"No!" Blaine said loudly, placing his hand on Kurt's arm. "I mean, yes-," Blaine trailed off, clearly frustrated. He took a deep breath. "I'd love for you to come."

"Then, what?" Kurt prodded further, not entirely convinced.

"I-," Blaine started, his thoughts jumbling under Kurt's gaze. He huffed in frustration, staring at the sheet music in his lap, his normally calm and confident aura all but gone. Kurt had that effect on him.

"Hey," Kurt prompted gently, concerned by the disappearance of the other boy's usual demeanor and eloquence, as well as his recent cheerfulness. "You're not nervous, are you?" Kurt asked kindly.

"Maybe a little," Blaine replied, not looking at Kurt. Kurt assessed the other boy, doubting his answer as he knew Blaine had performed enough that he was no longer bothered by stage fright.

Kurt didn't press though, instead opting to reassure, "I'm sure you'll be fine. You always are." Blaine looked up then, smiling wanly. "You sure it's okay if I come?"

Blaine nodded his head. "I'm sure."

"Good," Kurt said with a smirk, leaning close so that their shoulders were touching again. Blaine's smile grew, and Kurt adopted an air of superiority. "Because I might have to jump in if your duet partner turns out to be really bad."

...

"Kurt!" came the excited greeting as soon as Kurt picked up the call. He heard several other voices in the background.

"Mercedes," Kurt greeted back, laughter bubbling up at her cheerful mood. He stopped near the practice room, hearing the Warblers' muffled conversations through the closed door. "What's going on?"

"Tell him, tell him, tell him," Britney chanted in the background. Kurt heard laughter as Mercedes shushed the other girl. Kurt grinned, amused.

"You're not going to believe it," Mercedes said breathlessly. "Artie can walk!"

"What?" Kurt asked in disbelief, dropping onto the armchair by the hall window.

"Well, not on his own. But he's got this machine thing that helps him walk," Mercedes rushed to explain.

"Wow," Kurt said quietly, though a smile graced his lips. He was vaguely aware of Trent waving as he passed by.

"Yeah," Mercedes agreed. "When are you coming home?"

"Friday night, why?"

"We're all going to Breadstix. And then caroling," Mercedes said enthusiastically.

"Friday dinner, Mercedes," Kurt said, his tone serious now. Aside from Blaine, Mercedes was his only other friend who knew the significance of the meal.

"Finn already talked to your dad. You can go. Your dad and Finn's mom are going to come too."

"I'm not sure," Kurt said, still reluctant. There was a muffled noise over the line and Kurt waited.

"Dude, it's cool," Finn's voice came over the line. "Burt thought it'd be good to get out, seeing as we'll be home all next week. He was talking about your 'before Christmas dinners' but I wasn't really paying attention. What's that all about?"

"I'll tell you later," Kurt responded, not wanting to get into it as he had practice in a few minutes.

"Cool. I'm still picking you up Friday, right?"

"Yes, Finn. Call me when you leave Lima."

"Yeah, sure."

"Tell Artie I can't wait to see him walk."

...

"Are you heading out tomorrow?" Kurt asked as he and Blaine left Warbler practice.

"No," Blaine said as they headed down the hall toward the dorms. "I'm staying until the King's Island gig, then I'll head home." Kurt pace faltered, making Blaine stop and turn a concerned look his way. Some of the other Warblers moved around them, but neither boy acknowledged them.

"That's on Thursday," Kurt said, confusion evident.

"Yes," Blaine confirmed, letting the word out slowly, his expression matching Kurt's.

"Everyone's leaving sometime this weekend," Kurt stated.

"Yeah. So?" Blaine asked, still perplexed.

"Blaine," Kurt said seriously.

"Kurt," Blaine replied, his tone a mix of curiosity and amusement.

"You're going to be here alone," Kurt emphasized the last word.

"Some of the staff will be here," Blaine supplied, still oblivious to Kurt's thinking.

"That's not the same," Kurt said, his expression filled with concern. Blaine smiled fondly at the other boy, hefted his bag higher onto his shoulder, and tugged on Kurt's sleeve. They resumed their trek through the halls. Kurt kept his gaze on Blaine, worry emanating from his entire being. Blaine spared a sideways glance when they had walked in silence for several moments.

"Kurt, don't look like that," Blaine pleaded lightly, offering another smile. "It's fine. I don't mind." Kurt shook his head.

"No, you're going to come home with me," Kurt said sternly. "I'll call my Dad. I'm sure it will be fine."

"It's not necessary, really," Blaine said sincerely.

"It's Christmas," Kurt stated adamantly.

"Not technically until Saturday," Blaine quipped.

"Blaine," Kurt chastised. Blaine sighed, coming to a halt in front of Kurt's room.

"Why is this bothering you?"

"Because it's Christmas," Kurt said, frustrated, gesturing for emphasis. "Because you shouldn't be alone. Because something's been bothering you and I'm worried about you."

Blaine's expression shifted from aggravation to chagrin. He stepped closer to Kurt, but his gaze fell to the other boy's tie.

"You don't have to worry," Blaine said quietly. He took a deep breath and met Kurt's wide concerned eyes, offering a brief but appreciative smile. "I'm fine," he added bracingly. Doubt flickered across Kurt's eyes before his expression softened and he smiled briefly.

"I do anyway." Blaine's gaze flitted away again and he gripped the strap of his school bag. Kurt tried to alleviate the other boy's discomfort with his next words. "It'll be fun. We're going to get a tree this weekend and decorate it. There's midnight shopping for last minute gifts. And I make a great low-fat, non-alcoholic egg nog."

Blaine's eyes returned to Kurt's, amusement spreading across his face. Encouraged, Kurt continued, "Besides, if you come, you'd be a huge help. There's a lot to do, like putting up the lights, which I am sure Dad hasn't done yet. And shoveling snow." Blaine quirked an eyebrow at that and Kurt rushed to add, "You know, if it actually snows. And I can always use a hand in the kitchen."

Blaine chuckled wryly at the last statement before saying, "I'm not sure you'd want me in the kitchen." Kurt waved off the comment, smirking.

"Still, anytime I don't have to shovel snow is a win." Blaine gifted him with a smile then, and Kurt grinned in response, knowing he had swayed the other boy with his ridiculous argument. "And New Directions is going caroling this weekend," Kurt added enticingly. Kurt looked at the other boy expectantly.

"Okay," Blaine relented with a mock-exasperated sigh. Kurt clapped his hands together.

"It'll be fun," Kurt repeated, reaching for Blaine's hand. "I promise," he added, his tone turning serious.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand and smiled wistfully, "It always is with you."

...

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad," Kurt greeted over the phone.

"Hey, kiddo. How you doing? Everything okay?" Kurt stifled the urge to make a snarky comeback, knowing his father still worried.

"Everything's fine."

"Well, good," Burt said, though his tone held some doubt. "You all set to head back up here tomorrow?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Kurt prefaced, pacing his room. Burt remained silent, so Kurt took a deep breath and continued, "Can Blaine stay with us until Thursday?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Burt said after a beat.

"Why not?" Kurt asked, stopping in the middle of his room.

"You like him."

Kurt took a deep breath before responding, "This isn't about that."

"Really?" Burt asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

"Yes."

"So, what's it about?"

"He-," Kurt started, gesturing uselessly with his hand. He dropped onto his bed. "He's going to stay at Dalton otherwise. He says he doesn't mind, but he'll be alone for like 5 days."

"Why isn't he going home sooner?" Burt's tone was curious, concerned.

"He didn't say, and I didn't want to press," Kurt said with a sigh. "But I don't think he should be alone."

"Kurt, is everything okay with Blaine?" Burt asked, worry lacing the question.

"I just don't want him to be alone. It's Christmas." Silence hovered between them for a few seconds as Kurt gripped the phone.

"Okay," Burt relented. "He's got to stay on the couch though."

"That's fine," Kurt said, letting out a sigh. "Thank you," he added emphatically.

"I'm sure Blaine's fine," Burt assured gently. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I just worry."

"You usually do," Burt agreed.

"Thanks, Dad," Kurt shot back, feigning annoyance.

"Eh," Burt said humorously, "You know it's true." Kurt could not argue with that.

"Can you tell Finn he doesn't have to pick me up? Blaine can drive us."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too, Dad."

...

(continued in chapter 2)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: We'll Go On (Chapter 2/3)

A/N: Still rated T and I still don't own Glee. _Pout._ Oh, and I'm still in awe of Burt. :-)

...

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here?" Blaine asked, stepping out of the car behind Kurt.

"Of course," Kurt answered quickly, following Burt, Carole, and Finn to the restaurant.

"Kurt," Blaine started, placing a hand on Kurt's arm to stop him. Kurt turned to the other boy, eyes bemused. "What?" Blaine asked quietly.

"You're nervous," Kurt observed. "It's new."

"I just don't want to impose," Blaine revealed, looking earnest. Kurt could not help smiling.

"You're not." Blaine looked unconvinced by Kurt's words. Kurt leaned close, tugging on the edges of Blaine's cardigan. "You're not," Kurt repeated before ushering the other boy through the door.

...

Burt and Carole sat in a booth a little away from the teenagers, finishing their dinner. Carole looked over at the group fondly, carefree laughter filling the entire restaurant. She smiled as Kurt's laugh rang out above the rest. Burt gave her a look, sliding his silverware onto the now empty plate.

"He seems happy," Carole answered his silent question. Burt spared a glance sideways at the raucous group.

"I can't remember the last time I saw him like that," Burt revealed sadly. He watched Rachel and Mercedes talking over each other as Kurt sat smiling between them, trying to interject and keep the peace. Brittany kept popping up from the booth behind Kurt and hugging him awkwardly around the neck.

Blaine sat on the other side of the booth, talking to Sam and Puck over the partition. Puck raised his hand and Blaine jumped a little to high-five him. The boys laughed, Finn patting Blaine on the back. The other teenagers were happily conversing and laughing.

"I'm surprised you let Blaine come." Burt turned back to see Carole scrutinizing him. He shrugged.

"Didn't see any sense in him being at school all by himself," Burt said easily.

"I wonder why he was staying," Carole mused, frowning. Burt held her gaze, his own mind mulling over the possible reasons as well-none of them were pleasant. Carole shook her head, trying to dispel her worry. Burt reached across the table and Carole took his hand easily.

"It's been only me and Kurt for too long. No one should be alone for the holidays."

"It'll be good, our first holiday together," Carole added, lips hinting at a smile. Burt squeezed her hand. "What do you say we try the chocolate mousse?" Carole suggested mischievously.

"Kurt's going to have my head if he finds out," Burt answered, though he was grinning too.

"You've been good lately. I'll smooth it over with him," Carole said with a wink. Burt's hand shot up, gesturing for the waiter as Carole laughed.

...

"Mom?" Finn said as he approached the adults just as their waiter was clearing away their dishes.

"You guys done?" Carole asked, glancing over at the group. Burt also looked, noticing Mike and Blaine standing together collecting various bills.

"Yeah."

"You have enough for dinner?" Carole asked quietly, already reaching for her purse.

"No, I mean yes," Finn fumbled, looking embarrassed. He glanced back at the other tables.

"You okay?" Burt asked, his attention drawn back to the tall teenager.

"Yeah," Finn breathed out, taking another glance back. Burt followed his gaze. Kurt was sitting quietly, looking nervous and intently listening to Mercedes. When Rachel leaned close to say something, Kurt flushed and chuckled. Finn sighed.

"You sure?" Carole inquired further. Finn met her gaze, his expression losing some of its tension.

"Yeah. It's just Blaine offered to pay for Kurt and me. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer." Carole and Burt shared a smile at Finn's unease, and the woman reached a hand out to squeeze her son's arm.

"It's okay. That was nice of him." Finn seemed reassured by Carole's words, and he let out another sigh, nodding quickly.

"You boys got a ride?" Burt asked.

"Yeah. Mike and Tina."

"Be home by 11," Carole added. Finn nodded again, and turned to go.

"Finn?" Burt spoke up, his tone serious and voice low. Finn looked back at the man curiously. "Make sure someone's with Kurt and Blaine at all times, okay?" The two men stared at each other for a long moment.

"Already taken care of," Finn replied seriously.

Burt nodded his thanks, before saying, "Have fun."

...

"So, you going to ask my 'boo' out anytime soon?" Mercedes asked quietly, looping her arm through Blaine's as the teenagers headed down the street to the next house.

Brittany had just dragged Kurt to the front of the group, leaving Blaine to trail behind. Blaine looked at Mercedes, suspecting she had arranged some time alone with him.

"You like him, don't you?" Mercedes pressed when he did not reply.

"Of course," he answered easily, sparing a nervous glance at the rowdy group in front of them. "But it's not-," Blaine trailed off as he watched Kurt deftly dodge Puck, who seemed to be trying to get at the boy's hair. Mercedes chuckled quietly.

"Thank you," Mercedes' tone turned serious a moment later, "for helping him when we couldn't." Blaine looked back at her, saw her sadness and regret in the way her mouth turned down and her eyes looked longingly at her friend.

"He misses you," Blaine offered, not sure how to comfort the young woman. He knew Kurt had been upset with his friends when he first came to Dalton, but Kurt had already forgiven them; Blaine just didn't feel it was his place to say too much or try to repair those relationships.

Mercedes gave him a bracing smile as the group turned up a sidewalk to a small two-story home bathed in Christmas lights. She held him back, her arm tightening around his.

"You're important to him," Mercedes said seriously. Blaine watched as Tina rang the doorbell and the group promptly began singing _Silent__ Night_. Kurt stood in the middle, Brittany still holding his hand and Rachel's wrapped around his other arm. Blaine could just make out his distinct voice.

"He's important to me too," Blaine revealed, not tearing his eyes away from the sight before him.

"Good," Mercedes said, her usual tone returning. Blaine glanced at her then, seeing a hint of a smile on her lips. "Just don't wait too long."

Blaine hesitated before responding; he had never denied his attraction to Kurt, but he still felt like he could not take that step, and he didn't know if he'd ever be ready to take that step. He was both frustrated and scared by that, but he let the thought go before it festered. He let out a breath and tried to return the girl's smile.

"I'll try not to."

...

A series of loud crashes had Kurt flying out the kitchen, through the front door, and onto the lawn, turning to scan the front of the house. Of all the things his mind conjured up, the sight before him was not one of them.

"What the hell happened?" he cried out, hurrying over to the ladder that was not leaning against the house, but was actually hanging tangled among several strings of lights. Blaine was sitting precariously on the roof, equally tangled in the string of lights. One hand tugged at the various light strands while the other had a vice-like grip on Finn's ankle. And Finn? He was lying on the roof, not in imminent danger of sliding off but his upper body was hanging over the eaves.

Neither boy said anything, and Finn waved feebly from his upside-down position. Blaine's expression was a cross between embarrassed and panicked, and Kurt realized that the other boy's tugging on the lights was an effort to avoid strangulation as the ladder weighed down the strands.

"Blaine!" Kurt rushed to act; he carefully righted the ladder, climbed up a few rungs, and attempted to loosen the wires.

"I'm fine," Blaine said, though he was visibly relieved his life was no longer in danger. Finn scooted back slowly until he was lying fully on the roof.

"Hey, Kurt," Finn greeted tentatively. Kurt shot him a glare.

"How did this happen?" Kurt stepped higher on the ladder as he spoke, continuing to untangle the lights.

"We were doing fine until the ladder fell," Finn said. Kurt handed the now loosened strands to the other boy, who rolled onto his back and held the lights dutifully as Blaine loosened the ones around himself.

"Why are you on the roof?" Kurt asked. Now that neither boy was in danger, Kurt could not stifle his smirk as he took in his gangly step-brother, lying casually on the roof as if it were his bed, and his friend, who was looking confused and flustered by the lights still wound around his torso.

"How else are we supposed to put the lights up?" Finn inquired. Kurt rolled his eyes at the boy, but otherwise remained silent as Blaine finished untangling himself. With an equally embarrassed and relieved smile aimed at Kurt, Blaine handed the lights to Finn and scooted closer to the ladder.

"Come down and I'll show you," Kurt said, coloring his tone with annoyance despite the smirk still on his lips. The boys descended the ladder one at a time. Kurt retrieved the looped strands from Finn and climbed halfway up the ladder. He reached over a bit and set the strand on a hook tucked under the edge of the roof. He proceeded to hang the lights on two more hooks before letting the lights hang gently to the ground and stepping back down.

He looked back at Finn, his jaw slack as he stared up at the roof. He glanced at Kurt after a beat, scowling at Kurt's smug expression.

"Well, why didn't you show me that before?" Finn whined.

"I showed you where the hooks were," Kurt countered. "Why did you think hanging over the roof was a good idea?

"I don't know. I've never put up Christmas lights before," he pouted when Kurt shook his head in disbelief, smirk still firmly in place. Kurt took pity on his step-brother.

"I'll ask Dad to finish it up tomorrow."

"No, I'll do it," Finn said defiantly, clamoring up the ladder.

"Finn," Kurt started, suddenly distressed that Finn sounded upset.

"I said I'd do it, and I want to do it," Finn cut him off. He looked down at Kurt and continued, his tone softer, "I want to help with Christmas." Finn's lips quirked up in a brief smile, and Kurt relented.

"Fine. But please be careful."

Blaine shuffled closer as Kurt watched his step-brother.

"I told him we didn't have to get on the roof, but he insisted," Blaine said quietly. "I didn't want to be rude," he added ruefully. Kurt turned to the other boy with a bemused smile.

"You okay?" Kurt asked kindly.

"Yeah. I can still help Finn, if you'd like."

"Please. I don't think I could handle a trip to the emergency room this holiday," Kurt tried to quip, but Blaine saw the sadness that ghosted across the other boy's expression.

"I can see the headline now: 'Christmas Bulbs Turn Lethal,'" Blaine joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Attack of the Lunatic Lights." Kurt failed to stifle his laugh when Blaine grabbed the end of the light strand and pretended to fend it off.

"You're ridiculous," he said, shaking his head. Blaine's only response was to smile widely at the other boy and step back to help Finn, who had descended the ladder again and was moving it along the wall. Kurt watched the two boys working and laughing together for another few moments before he headed back into the house.

...

Carole walked into the house unnoticed, hearing music and laughter filling the house. She slipped off her shoes and dropped her purse, quickly making her way to the family room, where the noise emanated from. When she turned the corner, she immediately stopped. Several boxes stood open and half unpacked, tinsel lay piled on the couch, and several rolls of wrapping paper lay on the floor by Burt's armchair. The blanket and pillow Blaine had been using were neatly stacked by the couch. A bowl with the remnants of chips sat on the coffee table, along with a pitcher of what appeared to be egg nog and several half-filled glasses. Lively pop music filled the room. What startled and pleased Carole the most was that Finn, Kurt, and Blaine were singing and dancing around a tall tree, placing ornaments haphazardly on the branches.

Suddenly, Blaine stumbled and bumped the tree. Finn attempted to right it before the tree fell only to send it leaning the other direction, and Kurt grabbed it from the other side and righted it. Carole stifled her laughter with a hand over her mouth when Kurt set his hands on his hips and glared at the other two boys, who looked thoroughly chagrined. But a mischievous look between Blaine and Finn a moment later had all three bursting into laughter.

"Hey," Burt said softly, as he rounded the couch and came into view. Carole grinned adoringly at him and stepped into the room.

"Oh, Carole," Kurt exclaimed, just realizing she was there. "What do you think?" Carole looked over the tree, and the smiling faces of the three boys, before answering.

"It's perfect," she said, beaming. Kurt's smile widened as he hurried over to her, pressing his lips lightly to her cheek. He moved just as quickly back to the tree and the three resumed their decorating endeavors.

Burt reached out and tugged her to the couch, where they plopped down. Burt shoved the tinsel closer to one side, making more room. He set the bowl of popcorn he had been holding on the table and leaned back, bringing an arm around Carole and kissing her temple.

"How was your shift?"

"Long, but good," Carole answered, leaning comfortably against Burt's side. "What have you been up to?"

"Took two hours to pick out the 'perfect' tree," Burt replied, waving vaguely in the direction of the tree. "I swear, it's like they've been brothers forever, the way Finn and Kurt argue sometimes." Carole watched the boys fondly, chuckling as the chorus of another song had them singing along rather loudly.

"You sure that's nonalcoholic?" Carole joked, indicating the pitcher of egg nog. Burt laughed and tightened his arm around the woman. They sat in amused silence for several long moments, watching the teenagers.

"You hungry? Kurt made some new dish with fish and rice." Carole looked at Burt then, his expression giving away nothing. She smirked, already knowing what he did not say. Finally, he relented with his own smirk, saying, "It was pretty good."

Carole chuckled and turned back to the scene before her and watched as Kurt showed Blaine an ornament, leaning close and speaking quietly. Carole could not hear the words over the music, but Blaine offered a smile and rested a hand on Kurt's arm. Kurt smiled sadly. Blaine leaned back in and Kurt was laughing a moment later. Finn danced around from his side of the tree and just like that, the other two boys were back to singing and dancing.

"Food?" Burt prompted again. Carole rested her hand on Burt's knee and sighed contentedly.

"In a bit," she said quietly, wanting to enjoy the happiness filling the room. Burt kissed her temple again, and settled further into the couch, no more words needed for him to understand.

...

"Dude, you should totally put the star on top," Finn teased as he pulled out the star from the box he was holding and proffered it to the other boy. It was the last ornament to place on the tree.

"Really?" Blaine asked with feigned exasperation, though he took the star with a hint of a smile. "We're at the mocking stage already?"

"I think we have a step stool somewhere," Finn continued, his grin wicked. Blaine pointedly ignored the taller boy and handed Kurt the star, rolling his eyes at the jab.

"Finn!" Kurt chastised despite Blaine's indifference, reaching up to perch the star atop the tree.

"What?" Finn asked innocently.

"I can barely reach it," Kurt supplied.

"Well, you're short too," Finn said with a shrug. Blaine scoffed, amused.

"I've grown four inches since last year," Kurt huffed out indignantly.

"Dude, you're still short," Finn continued to rib. Kurt glared at him, crossing his arms.

"Well, you're abnormal," Kurt countered. Kurt and Finn stared at each other, eyes narrowed.

"Boys, play nice," Blaine interjected, trying to stifle his mirth.

"Whose side are you on?" Kurt asked pointedly. Blaine's expression turned wary and he stepped back, hands up.

"Clearly, he's on mine," Finn answered for Blaine, smirk back in place. Blaine was relieved to be off the hook, and again amused by the other boys' interaction.

Kurt turned back to his step-brother, "Why would he be on your side? You called him short!"

"And you're getting way too worked up about this."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Not."

"Dude, you so are."

"Don't call me 'dude." Kurt glared at Finn, who was smiling ridiculously.

"You best not get between those two," Burt advised, coming up behind Blaine and placing his hands on the young man's shoulders. Blaine tensed under the touch and Burt withdrew his hands quickly, letting them hover so as not to alert the others of the boy's response. Blaine looked back at the man, offering an apologetic and grateful smile. Burt chanced setting his hands back on the boy's shoulders and was pleased when Blaine did not flinch.

Burt cleared his throat loudly, "Kurt, stop taking Finn so seriously. Finn, stop provoking Kurt. I'm borrowing Blaine so he gets some peace and quiet for a few minutes." With that, he steered the young man around the couch and toward the kitchen. Kurt's gaze followed his father, but as soon as he and Blaine were out of sight, Kurt began packing up the now empty boxes.

...

"Tea?" Burt asked gruffly, already pouring hot water into a mug.

"Sure," Blaine answered tentatively. Burt produced another mug from the cabinet behind him, dropping a teabag in and filling it with water. He slid the mug across the small island, along with a small milk carton, a bowl of sugar, and a spoon. They remained silent while Blaine busied himself with scooping some sugar into his tea and stirring. He dipped the teabag into the darkening liquid a few times before setting it on the spoon on the counter. He took a small sip, wincing as the hot tea burnt his tongue. Blaine spared a look at the older man, only to find him staring intently back. Blaine felt the heat on his cheeks and stared down at his mug.

"Don't be nervous, son," Burt said kindly. Blaine looked up again, forcing a smile. "You weren't like this when we first met," Burt commented after a sip of his own tea.

"The uniform helps," Blaine replied wryly. Burt chuckled, and Blaine's expression relaxed. They sipped their tea.

"How's school?"

"Good, sir." Blaine answered quickly.

"How are the-," Burt paused, gesturing to the other room, hearing Kurt and Finn singing.

"The Warblers?" Blaine supplied. Burt nodded. "They're good," Blaine said with a genuine smile, and then added, "Kurt's a great addition. He's fitting in really well."

"How about you?" Blaine's expression faltered at the man's inquiry, but only for a moment.

"Well, this is my second year at Dalton. The Warblers pretty much have to put up with me," Blaine said self-deprecatingly, though he kept his tone light. Burt scrutinized the young man for a moment.

"I meant how are you?" Another flicker in Blaine's expression had Burt sipping his tea to give Blaine a moment to answer. A new song came on in the other room.

"I'm fine." Blaine's answer was too quick, the panic flickering at the edges easily recognized now that Burt had thought back on all the times Kurt had said the exact same thing only a month ago. Burt decided not to press the boy further, not knowing him well enough to gauge his reactions yet.

"You didn't have to pay for the boys' dinner the other night," Burt offered.

"It was the least I could do," Blaine countered politely. Burt set his mug firmly on the counter.

"Blaine, if anything, we owe you. I'm pretty sure it's the least we can do, letting you stay with us." Blaine did not say anything, just looked at the man earnestly. "You were looking out for Kurt when the rest of us weren't."

"Kurt knows you love him," Blaine said kindly. He smiled wanly at Burt.

"Doesn't make me feel any less guilty about the whole thing," Burt muttered. He shook his head quickly, returning his gaze to Blaine. "Anyway, you're welcome here anytime."

"I don't want to be a bother." Burt waved the comment off.

"Kurt likes having you around. Carole likes having you around. You like the Buckeyes, so I got no problem with you," Burt said. "You don't have to earn your keep or pay for our company. You are not an imposition," the older man continued. "Understand?" Blaine visibly swallowed as Burt stared at him.

"Yes, sir," Blaine finally answered. Burt heard the doubt in the boy's tone, disliked that this boy who had been so concerned for Kurt was also so concerned with not wanting to be a burden to others.

"Were you having fun in there?" Burt asked abruptly, waving his hand in the general direction of the family room.

"Yes?" Blaine answered after pulling the mug from his lips, confusion painted across his expression.

"That's your job, right now, at your age. Have fun, be yourself, be happy." Burt smirked before adding, "Within the law, of course."

Blaine managed a small smile at that last comment. "Of course," he agreed.

"Have fun, be yourself, be happy," Burt repeated. "Think you can manage that?"

Blaine took a moment to reply. With a deep breath and a sigh, he said, "I'm trying." Burt figured that was the best answer he was going to get and the two stood in silence for several moments, finishing their tea.

"Is that coffee?" Kurt queried, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he gripped the doorframe.

"Just tea. And yes, it's decaffeinated," Burt answered dutifully, smirking at his son. Kurt tentatively stepped into the kitchen, coming to a stop next to Blaine. Blaine smiled at the other boy's concerned look, setting his mug back on the island. Burt grabbed the empty mugs and set them in the sink. "Well, I'm heading to bed."

"I'll see you in the morning," Kurt said as his father made for the hall. Burt turned back to the boy and Kurt offered, "I'll make breakfast."

"You're on winter break, sleep in," Burt ordered lightly.

"You don't like breakfast?" Kurt teased.

"Breakfast is fine," Burt bantered back. "Still don't see the point of you getting up early if you don't have too."

"You're the point, Dad," Kurt said as if this should be obvious. Burt stared at his son-Kurt's cheeks flushed from the day's activities, his lips hinting at a smile, and his eyes wide and bright. Kurt had had to grow up too fast over the years, but he hadn't outgrown his father yet, and Burt was grateful of that fact. For a long moment Burt was speechless. Blaine's tentative movement next to Kurt brought the man out of his reverie, and he cleared his throat.

"I'll see you in the morning," Burt conceded. When Kurt's smile grew, Burt offered a wave and resumed his departure.

"Goodnight, Mr. Hummel," Blaine added just before the man disappeared from view.

"Goodnight, boys," Burt said loudly, continuing on his way. The two boys listened to Burt's footfalls on the stairs before they silently made their way back to the family room.

"Everything okay?" Kurt asked as they grabbed the blanket and linens from the floor. "My dad didn't give you a hard time or anything?"

"No," Blaine answered as they draped the sheet across the couch, tucking the edges under and around the cushions. Kurt looked intently at him, trying to discern the other boy's mood. After a moment, Blaine looked up from his task and graced Kurt with a smile. "Your dad is great. So is Carole."

"The best," Kurt agreed, smiling as he unfolded the blanket. "Finn has his moments too."

"Where is he, by the way?" Blaine asked as he retrieved his duffle bag from behind the armchair.

"Probably asleep. I sent him downstairs with the last of the boxes and he hasn't returned."

"Any exciting plans for tomorrow?"

"Baking, shopping, mischief, and mayhem," Kurt answered playfully. "Anything in particular you'd like to do?" Blaine shrugged, dropping his bag on the couch.

"Whatever's fine."

"Why don't we figure it out tomorrow?" Kurt set the pillow on the end of the couch.

"Sounds good."

"You all set?" Kurt asked, indicating the makeshift bed. Blaine nodded. Kurt stepped around the coffee table.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?" Kurt replied, turning around to find Blaine close behind him.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"The-," Blaine hesitated, taking a deep breath. "For having me here. I've had fun." Kurt smiled fondly at the other boy, stepping back.

"There's still four more days," Kurt teased with a smirk, walking back another step. "Better pace yourself." Blaine chuckled, a smile tugging at his lips. Kurt stopped when he stepped up to the landing, and the two boys looked at each other. Kurt was the first to blink. "Goodnight, Blaine."

With a wide smile of his own, Blaine replied, "Goodnight." Kurt turned and was already out of sight when Blaine whispered his next words, "My prince."

...

(continued in chapter 3)


	3. Chapter 3

Title: We'll Go On (Chapter 3/3)

A/N: Still rated T, and I still don't own Glee. _Pout._

...

"Kurt," Finn whined, coming up behind the other boy.

"What, Finn?" Kurt asked, equal parts annoyed and amused.

"Are you done yet?" Finn eyed the rack of clothing Kurt was browsing.

"Not even close," Kurt deadpanned, sparing a mischievous grin at Blaine, who was at the next rack. Mercedes laugh rang out from where she stood a few racks away, admiring a stand of earrings.

"Dude, I didn't think you were serious about the midnight shopping."

"I'm always serious about shopping," Kurt said. Finn stood speechless, unmoving until Puck appeared and shoved a cup into the teenager's hand.

Finn muttered, "Thanks," and wandered away, sulking. Kurt merely smirked. Puck tucked his hands into his pockets and casually leaned against a column.

"Why are you here?" Kurt asked.

"Scoping out the security system in this place," Puck offered with a shrug. Kurt rolled his eyes and moved to the next rack of clothing.

Puck looked around the store, spying only a couple other people browsing and the two sales people looking bored behind the check-out counter. The mall was quiet when he had first entered, despite the numerous late-night sales the stores were holding. A few shoppers, laden down with purchases, lingered, but luckily, no random stragglers or potential troublemakers seemed present.

If Finn's text was true, Kurt had been leading the group from store to store since mid afternoon. Mike, Tina, Artie, Brittany, and Santana had met them for dinner in the food court, but had headed out when the majority of the stores closed at 9:00pm. It was now near midnight, and Finn had sent the desperate text to him not long ago.

When his gaze fell back on Kurt, he was admiring a table of scarves, running his fingers along one of them. Mercedes called him over, and with a lingering touch, he headed over to her. They were soon deep in conversation about the jewelry she had selected. Scanning the store again, he found Blaine's gaze following Kurt's movements as he surreptitiously made his way over to the table Kurt had just left. Puck wound his way through the racks.

"What's up?" Puck said when he was close enough, causing Blaine to jump. Puck smirked as Blaine turned, gripping a scarf between his hands. "You suck at sneaking around."

"Thanks," Blaine said with a huff, glancing over Puck's shoulder at Kurt and Mercedes.

"What are you doing anyway?" Puck pulled the scarf from the other boy's grasp. "Never pegged you for a shoplifter."

"That's-," Blaine sputtered, his voice low, "that's not what I was doing. I would never do that." Puck assessed the boy, clearly affronted by the accusation.

"Sorry," Puck muttered and handed the scarf back. Blaine took it, folding it carefully.

"I didn't know what to get Kurt," Blaine revealed after another glance at the other teenagers, still engrossed in their conversation. "Or how to distract him long enough so I could look for something."

"Clearly, you haven't enlisted any assistance."

"Mercedes and Tina tried earlier."

"Okay, the right kind of assistance."

"What do you mean?"

"Watch and learn. And, you know, go purchase." With a sly smile, Puck turned and grabbed a bright orange and yellow striped shirt and a purple pair of corduroy pants. "Hey, Hummel! What do you think of this outfit?"

Mercedes and Kurt looked up from the jewelry stand, and Kurt's expression became mortified as Puck held the garments in front of him.

"No," Kurt said sternly. "Just no."

"But I heard stripes were back in," Puck offered.

"Not in those colors or with those pants," Kurt shot back authoritatively.

"I like these pants," Puck said petulantly. Kurt took the bait and tugged the offending garments from Puck's hands, shaking his head.

"Come on," Kurt said with a sigh. Puck followed Kurt as he scanned the racks, pulling out shirts that more suitably matched the pants. Puck shot a glance at Blaine, gesturing him toward the cashiers. Blaine grinned his thanks and hastened to the counter.

...

"Finally," Finn said as he turned his head toward the group of teenagers exiting the store. He struggled up from his position lying on the hard bench. "Are you done?"

"No way, man. It's only midnight. We've got a whole two hours left," Puck deadpanned. Finn looked horrified. Mercedes and Blaine chuckled, and Kurt placed a hand on his hip, his other hand gripping his shopping bags tightly.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm being mocked?"

"Seriously," Puck enthused, ignoring Kurt's question, "there's an ATM at the west entrance I've been eyeing."

"Really?" Blaine asked, staring warily at the other teenager. Mercedes smacked Puck's arm and Kurt glared at him. Puck shrugged.

"No, not really," Mercedes said, eyeing Puck and holding out her bag until he grabbed it. Smiling, she looped her arms around Kurt and Blaine's. "Let's go boys."

Kurt and Blaine shared a smile over the girl's head and started walking, their shopping bags swinging from their hands. Puck and Finn trailed behind.

"So, we're done?" Finn prodded.

"Yes, Finn, we're done," Kurt said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yes!"

...

The next couple of days passed in a flurry of baking and cooking, video game playing, singing, and eating. Blaine could honestly say he had never eaten so much good food, laughed so much, or felt more comfortable as when he was in Kurt's home. Carole doted on him, insisting he eat extra helpings as he was still growing and way too skinny. He even managed to help Kurt in the kitchen when the other boy was baking or preparing dinner of feast-like proportions, and was entertained and included when Finn had invited the New Directions boys for an hours-long video gaming session.

Kurt had even taken Blaine to the shop to bring his father lunch, which Kurt had insisted he eat while the boy finished the oil change the man had been working on. Blaine had stood off to the side, hiding his astonishment and amusement over seeing Kurt in coveralls, and easily conversed with the other boy as he disappeared under the car. Blaine surprised Kurt by sliding under the car with him and handing him the new filter before he could ask for it or retrieve it himself.

Wednesday night brought a unique peacefulness over the household, as the family sat watching a movie in the family room. Blaine surreptitiously looked around at the family. Burt was sitting in his armchair, reading a magazine, while Finn slouched on the right side of the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table. Kurt sat next to him, he legs folded under him and a pillow held loosely in his arms. Carole had pulled an overnight shift, and would not be home until early the next morning. Blaine sat at the far left end of the couch, the spot now his regular one after only a couple days.

Blaine looked back at the television, but his thoughts kept his attention more than the action movie currently playing out on screen. Watching Kurt and his family all week, their interactions, whether it was the parents chastising the boys or the family members equally teasing each other, had an ever-present, underlying comfort and affection. They had welcomed Blaine into that comfort and affection with no reservations, only warmth and care and smiles.

Blaine spared a glance sideways at Kurt. The other boy sensed his gaze quickly, and offered a happy, if not slightly curious, smile. Blaine returned it and pressed his arm against the other boy's briefly. He left his arm resting close to Kurt's, enjoying the feel of the other boy's warmth.

Blaine returned his gaze to the movie, still lost in his thoughts. He had witnessed Kurt taking care of his father while sharing his vulnerabilities with the same man. Kurt often argued like a child with Finn, though he was sure to give his step-brother seconds and thirds at dinner before requested. Kurt and Carole shared entire conversations without words, but only with a look or touch.

Whether it was the holidays or time spent with his own family, Blaine had always held a certain dread at this time of year. And this year, though he would never think ill of Kurt, the other boy's entrance into his life had sparked old feelings and memories-the bullying, the loneliness and fear, the beating-all of which Blaine did not want to relive. The end of the semester had sufficiently distracted him, as did the flurry of activity in Kurt's home and the thought of Kurt himself, but he had found himself increasingly preoccupied. Like now, even though he was trying to replay how he and Kurt had practiced his duet again this afternoon, he could not stop the phantom pain that shot through his chest. He pressed his arm close to his abdomen, slowly curling his fingers.

Movement in his periphery pulled Blaine out of his reverie. Flicking his attention around the room, he realized that Finn was pulling the DVD out of the player and Burt was leaning forward in his chair, watching Blaine closely. His gaze traveled further, and he met Kurt's concerned eyes.

"You okay, kid?" Burt asked kindly. Blaine's attention went back to Kurt's father, and he cleared his throat, unclenching his hand.

"Fine, sir." Blaine continued when Burt didn't look convinced, "Just tired, I guess." Blaine's gaze remained steady, not wanting to give anything away. Finn stood awkwardly in front of the television, and Kurt's hand hovered close to Blaine's.

"Well," Burt finally said, "we should probably turn in then."

Finn took his cue and said, "Goodnight," before heading quickly out of the room. The muffled sounds of a video game soon filtered from the teenager's bedroom. Burt stood after a moment, stretching a little. Blaine stood out of habit and Burt chuckled. "Is he like this at school?" Burt asked his son, waving vaguely at Blaine.

"Always," Kurt said as he too stood. Blaine could feel the heat on his cheeks and ducked his head. Burt moved in front of the young man, waiting for Blaine to look up.

"You know I'm only kidding, right? Manners are hardly a fault," Burt said once Blaine had looked up again. Blaine let out a breath, offering a brief smile. "I'm just trying to point out that you don't have to be on your best behavior here. Finn and Kurt never are." Blaine was amused by the man's smirk and Kurt's look of indignation, but it was quickly stifled when Burt placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders. Burt caught the young man's gaze.

"It's been a very festive few days. I think you might have had something to do with that." Blaine noticed the delighted expression that graced Kurt's face, and the way the other boy bounced a little beside him.

"Thank you, sir," Blaine said, his voice strained and his heart beating hard. Burt removed his hands from Blaine's shoulders and shrugged.

"If I don't see you in the morning, good luck at your concert tomorrow night," the man offered. Blaine nodded his thanks, no other words forthcoming. Burt glanced at his son once more before retreating to the hallway.

"Goodnight, Dad," Kurt called softly after him. Burt grabbed the wall as he turned, smiling at the boys before disappearing.

...

"You okay?" Kurt asked when Blaine dropped back onto the couch. Kurt followed, tucking a leg under him and sitting close. He frowned when Blaine laughed.

"You've been asking me that a lot lately."

"Well, you seem distracted a lot lately," Kurt shot back, not unkindly. Blaine looked at Kurt, finding only concern on his expression.

"Kurt, you hardly know me. How do you know I'm distracted?" Blaine asked tiredly. Kurt frowned again, sitting straighter, further away. Blaine reached for Kurt's hand, reached for the familiar comfort, and sighed when Kurt twined their fingers together.

"You're different from when I first met you," Kurt explained slowly. "And because I notice things."

"Like what?" Blaine inquired.

"You don't say what's really on your mind," Kurt answered honestly. Blaine looked away, reinforcing the other boy's words. Kurt squeezed his fingers reassuringly. "I'm very familiar with the concept of deflection, remember?"

"Clearly, I need to work on that skill around you," Blaine replied wryly.

"What my dad said was true," Kurt went on, ignoring Blaine's comment. "You don't have to be perfect; don't have to be what others think you should be. You should just be you."

"What if I don't like being me?" Blaine asked a moment later, his voice quiet and eyes closed. He wrapped his arm around his torso again, fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt as the pain ghosted across his body. Blaine willed the question and the accompanying memories away, hoped that Kurt failed to catch the insecurity now overpowering his consciousness.

Kurt bit his lip, forcing the tears blurring his vision to disappear. He watched Blaine's tense expression, watched as his body tensed. Kurt felt Blaine's fingers tighten around his. Kurt knew Blaine had also been bullied, had gone through something like he had. Kurt wondered, not for the first time, what exactly Blaine had experienced that made him bury his pain so deeply and build walls so high even Kurt's were dwarfed in comparison.

Kurt's equally quiet, "I'm sorry," had Blaine's eyes shooting open. His wide eyes met sad ones.

"Why?"

"You helped me. You let me tell you all about Karofsky. And you told me you had a similar experience. I should have known you'd have a hard time listening to all my crap."

"Don't apologize," Blaine said desperately. Kurt noticed the other boy did not contradict his realization.

"I should have known," Kurt repeated with a shake of his head, pulling away. He held on to Blaine's hand, and the tight grip the other boy reciprocated indicated Blaine still desired the connection.

"I didn't say anything," Blaine offered, gaze firmly on their twined hands.

"Why didn't you?" Kurt's question had Blaine standing abruptly, dropping Kurt's hand and wrapping his now free arm around his other, as if to hold himself in or protect himself. Blaine stepped around the coffee table before turning back to Kurt.

"It's late, we should get some sleep," Blaine said, not meeting Kurt's gaze. Kurt took his time standing up, watching the other boy struggle with emotions Kurt had rarely seen on his face.

"I'm always honest with you. Why can't you be?" Kurt pressed, not willing to give up just yet.

"I am," Blaine answered emphatically, turning his sad, pleading eyes to the other boy.

"You're not," Kurt countered. He stepped closer to Blaine, frowning when the other boy retreated.

"Can we not talk about this?" Blaine asked desperately. "Please?" he begged.

"Blaine," Kurt said softly, his own heart clenching at the sadness and fear emanating from the other boy. He stepped closer again, laying a hand on Blaine's arm before he could retreat again. When Blaine remained unmoving, Kurt tugged his arms away from his body, smoothing his hands over the tense muscles until Blaine's arms hung loose at his sides. Then he wrapped his arms around the other boy, running his hands over even more tense shoulders.

When Kurt felt Blaine press his forehead against his shoulder, he tightened his hold around the boy. And when Kurt felt a tremor and heard Blaine's shaky intake of breath, he pressed his cheek against the other boy's hair.

"You don't have to pretend with me," Kurt said tentatively when Blaine's arms came around Kurt's waist. "You don't have to be helpful and optimistic and confident all the time." When Kurt got no response, he continued, "I see that you've been preoccupied, and that whatever it is, it's making you unhappy. I made you think about it the other day. And tonight." Kurt took a breath before he finally said, "Maybe we shouldn't hang out so much."

Blaine pulled away quickly, confusion written across his expression. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Kurt mourned the loss of contact but made no move to reconnect. Instead, Kurt took a deep breath and stifled his own fear.

"If I make you sad, we shouldn't spend so much time together," Kurt elaborated. Kurt resisted the urge to wrap his arms around himself much as Blaine had done moments before, and forced his legs to keep him standing and not retreat.

"You don't make me sad," Blaine countered roughly.

"I pushed, when you clearly didn't want to talk about it. I always push too much."

"You don't," Blaine countered again, voice stronger, "you're perfect." Kurt scoffed at him, though a sad smile graced his features.

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Trying to make me feel better, even though I was trying to do that for you."

"You do."

"Really?" Kurt shot back, frustration beginning to surface. "Why won't you tell me what's bothering you? Why won't you let me help you?"

"You do," Blaine repeated, his tone quiet again, pleading.

"It's not enough," Kurt said almost petulantly.

"For who?"

"For you. For me. I don't want to see you upset and not be able to do anything to fix it."

"You don't have to fix me," Blaine stated, firm though his voice was still quiet.

"I could say the same to you," Kurt countered.

"It's not the same."

"Why not?"

"Because you deserve to be fixed!" Blaine's voice rang out in the silence. Desperation, fear, and doubt hovered around the boy as Kurt stared incredulously at him. Kurt forced himself to breathe, to keep calm.

"And you don't?" Kurt asked quietly, breaking the silence after a long beat. Blaine's faltering gaze was answer enough. Kurt pressed on. "I see you helping everyone around you-listening, counseling, and making sure they're cared for and happy. Why shouldn't someone be doing that for you? Why shouldn't you be cared for and happy?"

Blaine's continued silence spurred Kurt even more. He grabbed Blaine's hand, forcing the other boy's eyes to his. Kurt watched as sadness and insecurity flickered in Blaine's shimmering eyes.

"I want you to be happy. I think you deserve it. Whether you do is a whole other issue we're going to have to work on later." Kurt softened his tone as he continued, "I want to see you smile like you did when you beat Finn at whatever game you were playing yesterday, or when you realized that you managed to not burn that batch of cookies. I want to hear you laugh like you did when we were decorating the tree."

Kurt was thrilled to see a flicker of a smile on Blaine's otherwise sad face. He tugged Blaine back to the couch, prodding him back into his usual spot. Kurt sat close, hand still locked around Blaine's. Blaine sighed, tilting his head to rest on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt let out his own silent sigh as he felt the tension ebb from the other boy. They sat in silence for several long moments.

"I was happy this week," Blaine admitted quietly.

"It's okay to let yourself be happy," Kurt added, squeezing Blaine's hand. "You taught me that."

"I know," Blaine replied roughly.

"I'm not so sure you do."

"I do," Blaine asserted weakly. "I try to," he amended a moment later. "I'm just not like you."

"I am one of a kind," Kurt quipped lightly. Blaine chuckled wryly, his temple still pressed against Kurt's shoulder. He let out another sigh.

"It's just that you're so open. You let everyone see you," Blaine said seriously. Kurt scoffed, ready to counter that he had pushed everyone away, but Blaine seemed to sense his argument, "If someone actually looked, they would have seen you. I'm not like that."

Kurt wished Blaine would look at him so he could better understand, but the other boy seemed more forthcoming without eye contact so Kurt silently waited.

"I'm not ready to let everyone see me," Blaine confessed. "At least not all of me."

"Well, when you're ready, I want to be the first one to see all of you." Blaine lifted his head at Kurt's words, smirk tugging at his lips. Kurt's eyes widened at the implication and he leaned away from the other boy, his cheeks heated. "Mind out of the gutter," Kurt grumbled, though he delighted in Blaine's laugh. However, Blaine's mood quickly sobered.

"You might not like what you see," Blaine said earnestly, his gaze flitting away again. Kurt tugged on their entwined hands and leaned back in. He reached out with his other hand and pressed gentle fingers to Blaine's chin, redirecting his attention back to Kurt.

"I like what I've seen so far," Kurt said with a reassuring smile. "And maybe I won't like everything, but I'll still be there for you."

Kurt held Blaine's gaze, fingers barely touching Blaine's jaw. Blaine was the first to blink, tugging Kurt's fingers away and pulling Kurt to standing with him. They slowly set about recreating Blaine's makeshift bed, the silence contemplative.

"Goodnight, Blaine," Kurt said quietly when he had set the pillow down, offering a small smile at seeing Blaine's lingering sadness. When he moved past Blaine, though, the other boy reached for his hand. Kurt stopped, lifting his eyes to meet Blaine's.

"I'm always going to want to spend time with you," Blaine said, returning Kurt's smile with a weak but genuine one. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand.

"I'll see you in the morning."

...

"You're not like you were with me," Finn said, keeping his eyes forward as he, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Mike, and Rachel waited for Blaine's concert to begin. The group had come earlier in the day to enjoy the festive games and events. Now, the teenagers were sitting among a rather large crowd awaiting the holiday performance.

"What?" Kurt turned a questioning gaze to his step-brother.

"You like him." Kurt understood Finn's vague comment. "Like, like him. But you're not scary about it."

Kurt let out a frustrated sigh. "Finn, when are you going to get over that?"

"I am over it." Finn finally looked at Kurt.

"You're not. It's been months, but you brought it up when I was going to sing a duet with Sam." Kurt turned his attention back to the stage when Finn stayed silent. He let out tiredly, "I'm not apologizing again."

"Dude, I am over it. I'm just saying you're different about Blaine. And I'm wondering why."

"I think I knew on some level that I could never have you," Kurt revealed, turning back to the other boy. "I tend to decide on something and get really stubborn about getting it. I saw it as a challenge, so I tried harder. But all I saw was the challenge, and not the consequences. Does that make sense?"

"Not really."

Kurt sighed again at Finn's confusion and his inability to explain it clearly.

"He's important to me," Kurt said, trying a different tact. Finn's gaze faltered.

"He did help you the most with Karofsky," Finn acknowledged. Kurt nodded his agreement.

"I don't want what happened with us to happen again, especially not with Blaine. I couldn't handle it if he wanted nothing to do with me. I can't go through that again." Kurt's voice had gotten progressively quieter with each revelation, and when Finn looked back at the other boy, he could see tears brimming. Finn opened his mouth but nothing came. The curtain pulled back and the buzz of conversation from the audience diminished. Kurt shook his head a bit, threw a bracing smile at Finn, and turned back to the stage just as the lights dimmed.

...

"Blaine, that was wonderful!" Rachel exclaimed as Blaine appeared in front of the group. "Though I could have done the female part much better," she added conspiratorially, leaning close. Blaine merely smiled at her as Kurt and Mercedes rolled their eyes.

"You were good, white boy," Mercedes chimed in, Tina and Mike echoing the sentiment.

"Thanks," Blaine said graciously, smiling at everyone. He had fun with everyone that afternoon, feeling just as welcome and included as he had during the New Directions dinner at Breadstix and at the Hummel-Hudson house.

Conversation on various topics broke out soon after, and the group headed en masse to the parking lot.

"You sure you're going to be okay making the drive home?" Kurt questioned Blaine as the group reached their vehicles.

"It's not that far, Kurt," Blaine replied, taking his turn to roll his eyes. Kurt glared at him for a moment before relenting to the other boy's smirk.

"I worry," Kurt said with a shrug.

"That you do," Blaine conceded. "I'll be fine," he reassured, squeezing Kurt's hand briefly.

"Okay," Kurt sighed out, trying to let go of his concern.

"I left some things under the tree for your dad and Carole, even Finn. Could you make sure they get them?"

"Blaine, you didn't have to."

"I know. I wanted to." Blaine suddenly looked shy, his gaze shifting to the other teenagers talking and laughing. "There's something for you too."

Kurt smiled widely and pulled Blaine into a hug. Blaine wrapped his arms around the other boy easily.

"Merry Christmas," Kurt whispered, squeezing his arms tightly.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt." The boys pulled apart soon, their embarrassment barely there as the group began exchanging goodbye hugs and holiday wishes. Blaine watched as Rachel, Tina, and Mike slipped into Rachel's car, and Mercedes, Kurt, and Finn got into Kurt's Navigator.

Blaine waved happily. When the two cars left the parking lot, Blaine got into his own car. He started the car and set the heater on high. He was buckling his seatbelt when he saw two tastefully wrapped and decorated boxes lying on the passenger seat. He picked up the top one, flipping the little card affixed to the box over to reveal a few simple words: _Happy __Holidays. __Love,__ Carole __and__ Burt_.

Tears clouded his vision, and he swiped his gloved hand over his eyes as he reached for the other package. An envelope was taped neatly to the bottom and Blaine struggled to slip the card out; he succeeded and slowly opened it. A CD fell onto his lap, but it was the words that caught his attention.

_Dear Blaine,_

_You once sang this song to me when I needed to hear it. You gave me a place to run to and I wanted to remind you that you have that as well. And so much more. I hope you find your happiness, you deserve nothing less. Merry Christmas._

_Love,_

_Kurt_

Blaine immediately slid the CD into the car's stereo system, blinking away more tears as the soothing song came on. He even managed a smile as he pulled out and headed home, his mind full of happy memories with friends and family.

_Ain't falling apart, or bitter  
>Let's be bigger than that and remember...<br>We'll go on surviving...  
>Just wanna say<br>I got you_

...

(end)

A/N: Thanks for reading. Hugs.


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